Afiqq Blog

29 May 2005

First Time Chat Kat Alamak.com

aku tgh merepek sekarang. maksud aku, aku dlm keadaan yg merepekkan. just now with firman, he was kinda stressed out. da tk dpt masuk air force, sekarang ni bleh ke dia dpt masuk OCS? aku doakan kau supaya berjaya.

aku? aaah... aku lum masuk ns lagi. masih terlalu awal utk aku fikirkan, harus aku terus blajar, sign on cd, kawin, gi duduk kat meysia, atau duduk umah sampai ke tua.

aku lum tdo lagi ni. chk anakmelayu, takde msg, chk friendster, nothing. just read a few post bulletin. aku dah mcm zombie seh. dah kul 4.30am pun aku masih blum henti2 main internet. gi mirc takde benda. gi newgrounds, crita semua da tgk. tadi gi alamak.com abih aku chat ah. tapi mendak. dorang bebual sesama sendiri. alamak.com was the first webchat yg aku gi sebelum mirc dan seterusnya messenger. it was the year 1997, i was playing it at jurong east library. it was illegal as the comps were used to find books online, but my friend taught me on how to go to other websites by pressing 'ctrl+L' those were the days. i remember i send a dedication online to perfect ten. the song that i want them to play was 'forever love' by gary barlow. then my friend said that's a jiwang song, he didn't like it. but i love it! at that time lah...pernah skali tu kena tangkap dgn pegawai library, dorang nampak kita gi ke website2 lain, dia tanya mcm mana kita boleh gi access ke website lain. kita cakap, kat bawah website library tu ada link yg gi ke tempat lain, kita click kat situ, pastu kita terus kan click ke mana2 yg ada links2. heheh...

mata aku dah mcm rabun ni. nenek aku dah bangun. tgh buat sesuatu kat dapur. better go sleep now before my mom woke up.

25 May 2005

A dream that made me woke up at 1am++

i had a dream last nite. the place was very familiar, it looks like West Coast Drive even though in the dream i felt that it was somewhere else. it was at night time. i should have been with my sister but she was not there. then i went to a bus stop and i saw my mom. i told her shes not there. shes late. we wanted to go home. but i still wanna wait for her.

then the dream somewhere went straight to the carpark at my home, bukit panjang. i was so worried that shes not back yet. thats why i was at the carpark maybe becos i want to look for her. then i cried. my sister showed up with another guy, doesn't look like her bf actually, that guy was a little plump, wears a spectacle. so she showed up. i was crying. i went to her and i scolded her for making me worried becos she went home late. but i was crying while scolding her and i could feel that i was shouting right in front of her cos she really made me very worried.

then i woke up. the time was around 1.30am+ i think this is the first time, maybe for a long time i've never woke up from a dream this early.

i wonder why many of my dreams, the place looks like west coast drive when i felt that its somewhere else. last time i used to live there from the day i was born till i finish my kindergarten. alot of things have happen during my younger days there.

24 May 2005

watch fa cup final after 4 years.

i went to S-11 at marsiling to watch the fa cup finals, nak ajak yg lain, dorang ada hal. becos long time i never watch fa cup final, the last time was Man U vs Newcastle, i think that was the year 99, aku bertekad untuk pergi jugak, walaupun sorang.

reach there, dah ramai orang dah duduk kat tempat yg berdekatan dgn tv yg ber-size normal, aku terpaksa duduk kat parapet yg rendah yg kat luar kedai kopi tersebut, tapi boleh nampak jugak cuma tv nya kecik so susah nak tahu kat mana bola nya ditendang dan di-pass. then it was kinda boring cos tv nya suara pelan sgt, tak dgr ape2. so i turn on my portable radio, and listen to BBC radio. they had live commentary for the fa cup final, nice.

from the commentary, they also gave results on one of the Scottish game, i remember they said Dundee has been relegated from the scottish premier league. the last time man u and arsenal met in the fa cup final is in 1979 where arsenal won 3-2. and that was the year chelsea was being relegated from division one (former premier league).

i was supposed to get the hell out of there before 12.29am cos dats the last train to jurong east from marsiling. but thats the time where the game ends 0-0 in the 2nd extra time. firman just came from hospital so he asked me to watch the game at his house lah. so i watched the penalties on the biggest tv i've ever seen. Man's tv was huge!

after the game, dah tak sempat nak naik mrt, ape lagi, kita pun main xbox lah. then watched Team America: World Police on DVD. very funny story. got one part i laughed so hard till i cried cos my stomach was painful due to laughing too hard.

after my mum called at around 2.30am++ i went home.

21 May 2005

Lepaskan Geram, Kerana Duit

haiz...

besok FA cup. tapi aku takde SCV. terpaksa tgk kat marsiling dgn Man dan Darny kat sana. tapi duit aku dabis. tsk... terpaksa aku pakai duit bank sikit. tapi... aku chk duit bank aku makin kurang. ni yg buat aku seram. kalau mak bapak aku tahu, matilah aku. nak tunggu sampai aku masuk NS, dapat gaji, tu lama lagi. heran betul... kenapa lah ezlink aku ni cepat nah abis... takkan aku nak salahkan diri aku ni yg selalu aje gi nyp. kata minat dok, mestilah kena gi.

tapi, ada jugak baiknya aku hidup mcm ni. biarlah aku rasa betapa sukarnya hidup bila kesempitan duit. lagi satu, aku hidup bebas. aku boleh pergi kemana aku nak, cuma balik tak boleh lambat lah. maksud aku, aku ada masa untuk pergi kemana2 aku suka, aku boleh buat mcm2, kerana aku tak kerja. aku tak terikat dgn mana2 kompeni yg akan memerintah aku untuk melakukan sesuatu yg mereka inginkan. ya, aku mengerti, kwn2 aku yg terikat dgn benda2 ni semua, cukup bulan dapat duit. tapi, aku nak taulah, adakah hidup mereka happy? bila balik kerja ajer, adakah mereka akan tersenyum? adakah mereka akan tidur dgn lena kerana tidak sabar untuk bangun esok hari untuk bekerja? entah eh...

aku tgk adik aku, setiap kali dia balik kerja, muka dia nampak biasa. dia pernah juga complain dgn aku mengenai kejadian2 yg menimpa beliau sewaktu bekerja. tapi selepas itu, esok hari nya, dia pergi kerja seperti biasa. dia pernah beritahu aku, "adik masih terus rasa nak kerja kerana bukan kerana kerja nya, tetapi kerana colleagues2 adik kat sana yg akan selalu buat adik happy."

tapi dia tak complain kerja beliau sebagai cashier. tak boring ke, asyik kerja jadi cashier ajer? tapi dia kata dia gi kerja sebab dia enjoy kerja dgn kawan2 dia kat sana. jadi dia gi kerja kerana dia boleh dapat enjoyment dgn colleagues2 dia... wat the fcuk is dat? merepek!

aku belum lagi dgr dari kawan2 aku yg akan berkata, "i love my job! i love doing this job!" belum pernah... tapi itu yg aku ingin kejarkan. itu yg aku impikan. aku dah rasa kerja di office...its not my type of job. aku dah rasa kerja polish kereta golf. tu kerja senang, tapi pekerja2 di sana, orang2 tua, orang2 india yg dtg dari meysia. aku pernah berbual2 dgn mereka. tapi topik2 nya bukan topik2 yg aku suka perbualkan! lagipun aku tak biasa campur dgn mereka! kerana aku anak muda singapura! susah nak campur! mungkin korang tak mengerti apa yg aku rasa, mungkin korang rasa aku ni yg tak pandai buat kawan...yer! memang aku tak pandai buat kawan! lagi2 orang2 yg bukan seusia aku dan bukan orang singapura! aku tak boleh!

dah terlalu byk blog yg aku letak kat sini mengenai kerja, makin meluat aku dibuatnya. bukan aku nak caci org2 tua, atau org2 dari negeri lain atau kwn2 aku yg kerja sambil sekola. aku cuma nak lepaskan perasaan aku ajer.

apakah aku akan terus kan impian aku nak jadi director drama atau filem? entahlah. zaman sekarang, duit lah yg paling penting. tapi aku tak heran sgt dgn duit. aku nak buat kerja yg aku suka. tapi boleh ke aku dapat kerja sebagai director? boleh ke? betul ke impian aku nak jadi director? atau impian tu sebenarnya hanya angan2 saje?

aku takut, aku tak tau apakah masa depan aku sekarang ni. ok ok. aku rasa aku kena kuatkan diri aku dulu. orait, aku rasa aku kena abiskan NS aku dulu, mungkin selepas itu barulah aku boleh fikirkan lagi mengenai masa depan aku, impian aku...

Duit => kehidupan <= masa

18 May 2005

Public Transport - Sakit hati?

2 rehearsals for the new production has already been going on and some of the scenes have been played and i can see dat we made alot of improvements on the scenes like putting extra comdey, sound effects and upgrading of scripts. so we are at the right track right now. there are a few members who have not come to the rehearsals due to work, i totally understand that.

well at least i'm not stress and worried as the director for this new production that are based more on drugs and the yellow ribbon project. so thats good news.

next, i am now playing this RPG game called Sword of Mana in the Game Boy Advance EMULATOR. when i was asked to choose either 2 characters, i thought both of the characters are females, cos both looks like girls, so i just take one of them. sekali dapat tahu yg satu lelaki, yg lagi satu pompuan. so i'm playing as a female in this game, but not bad lah, cos she can fight and also do magic spells. masalahnya game ni takde cheats pulak.

since i will be going back to school like almost everyday for the rehearsals, i have to save my money, i have to use it very wisely. cos i need the money not just for food and drinks. also for my transport. for one day, i have to spent $4 to go to school and go back home. dat means, after 3 days, i must top up my ezlink card.

my father give me $4 from monday to friday. so i will keep $2 every weekdays. the other $2 will be used for my food. so by friday, i can top up my card. tapi, masalahnya i may not have enough money to enjoy myself during the weekends. i can't work, afraid i may not have enough time to come down for the rehearsals, also, i may have to use more transport money just to travel from home to work, then to school, then went home. that will be around $5 per day i gerenti u!

life is hard.

14 May 2005

Jerusalem-Holy Land?

i few things happen this friday.

i went to ICA Building cos my sister wanna take passport photo. since the queue is long and i'm gonna be bored waiting for her, i decided to line up together with her. as we were talking, there this malay chio bu queue about 1.5 metres from us. i was looking at her cos shes gorgeous. her hair looks beautiful. then i ask my sister, is that girl a maly or chinese cos she looks not like malay. my sis told alot more. she is malay. then when my sister was looking at her, the girl was like 'step' jambu gitu, my sis said that, the girl did the 'step look' cos she thinks she prettier than my sister.

then my sister going to meet her bf and i'm all alone. i dun wanna go home, cos waste money, i had to meet my friends at 8.30pm and the time was only about 3++. so i decided to go bugis junction and watch Kingdom of Heaven.

the movie was really good especially the war. it really looked like real man. dah lah effects nya lawar, the costumes, the environment, damn! it was prefect. but i felt sad cos the killing parts were so bad cos it was so cruel. i can't imagine the pain when a knife cut through your neck, the part where the soldiers cut off the Arabs' heads, oh God, these people are so merciless! to them, death is like nothing to them.

i remember this saying, quite nice. this guy said do not go to war against the Saracens, cos, "it is certain death". but this other guy said, "death is certain."

sweet.

oh yeah, Jerusalem is indeed a holy land for the 3 main religions. but... for the past thousands of years, the city has seen death, massacre, bloodshed, war etc. so how can you say its a holy land when the land is filled with corpses and blood?

i just wanna wish estefania, happy birthday and hope that she will travel safely and land safely in brunei. God bless you.

11 May 2005

THE ATTACK OF THE FOOD POISONING ARMY

aku didlm kesakitan. aku dlm kesakitan yg teramat lah pedih. i've been hit by FP!
food poisoning.

i remember i ate jemput2 pisang pagi tadi, right after i woke up from my sleep. then i went to school at around 2pm, i could feel the slight pain in my stomach. i tot its gastric.

sampai ke sekolah, the pain worsens, aku tertunduk2 bila sakitnya serang perut aku. mlm tu aku gi toilet skola kat tingkat 4 block e, berak cair. pas tu bila nak balik, aku naik mrt dgn aisyah dgn yana. waktu yana tgh bebual dgn aku, perut aku diserang beberapa kali. aku masih ingat mata aku mcm tgh stim gitu, takut nanti diorang tersalah anggap pulak, hehehe.

sampai sembawang mrt, aku terpaksa keluar dari mrt kerana aku rasa mcm nak muntah. aku turun bawah, dapati toilet nya pulak sedang dicuci!!! fuck! aku gi kat tepi tempat gelap gitu. hoping for me to vomit, tapi tak terkeluar! i went to the ATM machine to draw money to be used for taxi fare. aku rasa macam perut aku tak sakit so i tot i just took the train. baru satu stop, admiralty mrt, aku terpaksa turun lagi. sebab perut aku diserang dgn serangan yg penuh patriotik. dah lah sakit, aku terasa mcm nak muntah lagi. aku turun, ini kali toilet bukak.

aku masuk ke jamban, aku nak muntahkan diri tapi tak boleh, jadi aku cucuk2 mulut aku. tak terkeluar jugak. abis tu aku rasa mcm nak terberak. so aku pun berak lah. dah abis, aku ambik taxi balik.

sampai rumah, aku start tulis skrip2 dlm MS Word. tapi adik aku suruh rest. so aku rest lah. but we end up talking in my room till around 1am+ we were talking about our ex like what happen, how it happen. so it was real fun though i suddenly felt my anatomy was getting warm. i was down with fever.

even today, my stomach masih kena serang by toxins. *ouch*

09 May 2005

Ibu

badan aku mcm lemah aje lah petang tadi. actually yg buat badan aku lemah pasal kenapa tau, pasal hati aku. hati aku dicakar oleh 'sang kucing' dan hati aku cedera, menyebabkan badan aku jadi lemah-longlai. aku bukan nak merepek kat sini tau, ni betul2 punya kes. benda macam memang pernah terjadi dlm hidup aku, tapi waktu tu lagi teruk, mata aku sampai berair tak henti2.

nasib baiklah aku ni kuat, aku cuba tahan, walaupun perit, tapi aku tahan. Alhamdullillah, im ok now. but the scars still there, kalau aku ingat balik, pasti berdarah kembali.

that saturday, i met Man and Darny at our lepak place, i asked Man about his friends who took drugs during his secondary school. he told me that they took heroin by injecting using syringe and even do the 'chase the dragon' to other drugs i can't remember what. and he mentioned his friends' name and most of them were malays, so its sad to hear that.
but what i like about the story is that he told me that even these people were suffering, their family members suffered more, and he emphasized more on mothers. to him, ibu lah yg melahirkan anak dan kalau anak buat benda2 tak baik, ibu yg akan dipersalahkan, padahal anak itu sendiri yg memilih jalan yg tidak baik dan kerana itu, ibu yg menderita.

also, i'm gonna use his idea that the new production should try to emphasize more on the mum's sufferings than the son, so that those audience who will be watching will realise that ibu adalah insan yg paling berharga dlm hidup kita kerana beliau lah yg melahirkan kita, beliau lah yg menjaga kita, memberi kita makan dan minum, memberi kita kasih sayang yg sepenuhnya.

wow... dada aku sebak bila mendengar kata2 kawan aku tu, sampaikan mata beliau berair.

oh yah, i wanna say thanks to Man's family for treating me at the Indian restaurant that same day. it was so good, i really love it. hopefully i can go there again.

06 May 2005

Tak Rasa Sedih

its been days for me without any posts being posted in my blog. no interesting happenings dat happen in my life, dunno why.

actually aku dah lama tak rasa sedih. sedih dari segi percintaan lah. i remember when i was in secondary school, dat was one of the worst times ever - crushes, jealousy, crazy in love, u name it man. but that time i was a mat kental, very childish, playful.

but still i manage to have girlfriends at that time...but merepek ah...

anyway... yesterday had a kenduri. but the people were all makcik2 yg tinggal around bt panjang ajer. my dad, me and my bro were inside our rooms masing2. and me and my bro played pro skater 2 all the way till they finish everything.

so to think of it, i could have extend my meeting at the school yesterday. oh well, gonna meet those guys again.

01 May 2005

pentas wayang baik

tadi aku gi makan kat west coast dgn bapak aku. kau tau... aku beli beef steak kat kedai mamak ni, kedai nya kat belakang, yg kat tgh punya lah tapi dia kat hujung sikit. i tell you, beef steak dia, mee kuah dia, fuyooh, sedap dok. serius. sebab dia peh kuah its dark red, rasanya betul2 rasa ape yg patut kita rasa, kalau korang try kat kedai2 mamak yg lain, color kuah nya merah terang, tu maknanya dorang letak air lebih dok. tu namanya penipu. tapi takpe, nanti kalau ada masa, kita makan kat west coast, aku ajak korang kat kedai tu k.

oh yer, semlm aku gi temasek poly tgk 'Pentas Wayang'. actually kita budak2 mcg sangka its a theatre production, but actually its like a musical production gitu lah, but more on the concert peh style gitu. the tarian kipas was excellent, dikir pompuan pun baik. tapi yg buat cerita power adalah dikir lelaki dorang. sungguh style, kelakar, penuh idea ah dorang ni. and not forgetting, the part where these couple use the botol, ketuk2 buat mcm morse code gitu, kat screen tunjukkan msn messenger. alamak, tu idea baik dok. it was good. i like it alot. tapi aku dgr2 dorang tak berikan tiket2 complimentary for MCG main committees for NYP. tak tau kalau sekola lain pun dpt ke tak lah...